Why can’t I embrace my feminine energy? If you have asked yourself this question, you’re not alone. Many women experience a cycle of stress, control, and overexertion. In this article, we’ll explore the relationship between chronic stress, inner safety, and feminine embodiment, as well as the wild woman archetype.
 

The nervous system’s role in feminine embodiment

The reason it feels difficult to connect with your feminine energy is not that you are not doing enough. It’s not about adding more rituals or trying harder to embody softness. "Doing" is part of masculine energy, so we need to shift to "allowing," "feeling," "vibing," and "being present." This shift becomes extremely challenging when your body does not feel safe. If your body and nervous system perceive a lack of safety, they will naturally hold back as a protective measure. This response is not against you; it’s your body working to ensure your well-being. However, when in protection mode, it becomes more challenging to connect with our feminine energy. This is why inner safety is a key factor in discussing feminine embodiment. Once your body feels safe, your feminine energy can flow naturally without needing to force it.

Your nervous system constantly asks one essential question: Am I safe enough? The answer to this question determines its state (this process is known as neuroception, I explain it more in this article). When you feel secure, your nervous system allows you to rest, connect, and be present. However, if it senses danger or stress—whether from harsh tones, excessive noise, or past experiences—it shifts into a fight-or-flight mode. If circumstances feel overwhelming or impossible to escape, your nervous system may enter an even more primitive response: shutdown. Shutdown, also known as immobilisation, is a state of feeling empty, spaced out, or as if you are “not really here.” It’s essential to recognise that these responses occur without conscious control. It is not a matter of mindset, a personal flaw, or a weakness; rather, it is a built-in survival mechanism rooted in your body’s deepest intelligence. While we have no control over which state our nervous system shifts into, we can take steps to care for and retrain it. This way, when our body shifts into fight-or-flight or shutdown mode, it becomes easier to return to a state of safety.

Chronic stress: the invisible weight 

The fact that our nervous system shifts between different states is not an issue. For instance, the fight response has its own advantages and purpose; it can provide us with the energy necessary to overcome challenges. A healthy nervous system, once the threat is gone, returns to a state of safety. Chronic stress occurs when the body remains in a state of stress for an extended period without a proper break or resolution of the stress response. Rather than returning to a state of safety, the nervous system gets stuck in a fight-or-flight our shutdown responses. This condition often results not from one significant event but from the accumulation of smaller stressors repeated over time (traumatic events also lead to chronic dysregulation, but that topic is for another article). These smaller stressors—such as rushing to meet deadlines, juggling work and family commitments, dealing with constant notifications, and facing financial pressures—can ultimately overwhelm our bodies. These challenges are not merely mental burdens; they manifest as physical stressors that our nervous systems must manage every single day. 

The cost of chronic stress is not just fatigue or tension; it also disconnects us from our feminine energy. When your system is caught up in doing, fixing, and controlling, it becomes difficult to soften into states of being, feeling, and receiving. Your body cannot relax when it is on high alert. This is why learning how to recognize and manage chronic stress is such a vital aspect of feminine embodiment. If you would like to go deeper, my free guide Safe to Flow breaks down the different nervous system states in a clear and visual way, and offers simple, somatic practices to help your body return to safety: download the guide here.

Rewilding the Feminine

Our society has forgotten the essence of feminine energy. Feminine energy is associated solely with qualities like "caring," "nurturing," "softness," and "compassion." While these traits are part of the sacred feminine, they represent only one facet of its primordial vibration. Our ancestors had a profound connection to the sacred feminine, embracing its full spectrum without shaming any of its aspects. They recognised and honoured the feminine within themselves and their own bodies. Being a woman means embodying various frequencies: showing compassion and softness as a mother or sister while also embracing the strength of a queen, the allure of a seductress, the bravery of a warrior, the mystery of an enchantress, the wisdom of a priestess, the insight of a visionary, and the stormy nature of a wild woman.

"Society may try to confine and define us, but our wild nature cannot be contained" - Clarissa Pinkola Estes

When we feel pressured to adhere to only some expressions of the feminine vibration, it creates internal conflict. In our society, the message is constantly that certain aspects of the feminine should be condemned. Many of us have learned to hide parts of the feminine, particularly the enchantress, the priestess, or the wild woman. This suppression, whether unconscious or conscious, is a source of chronic stress. As women, we are naturally vessels for the sacred feminine, which is greater than ourselves. The sacred feminine exists everywhere: in nature, in plants, in oceans, and in the earth itself. Minimising its power and presence in our daily lives requires immense effort. Everything that has taught us to reduce the feminine expression to a limited number of archetypes creates tension and stress because the feminine essence is incredibly powerful. It is like trying to contain a waterfall or an ocean—while it may be manageable for a time, inevitably, the waterfall or ocean will become chaotic and overwhelming.

For women who strongly embody the wild woman archetype, societal structures can feel extremely restrictive. Love relationships may also feel confining when we are with men who cannot calmly witness and hold space for the flows and power of the feminine. The more we attempt to diminish the power of the feminine, the more our bodies will be thrown into a state of chronic stress. Rewilding is not just about dancing freely and honouring the wild feminine, whether as an enchantress, priestess, or seductress; it is also about caring for our nervous system and creating lasting conditions for safety and feminine embodiment.

You might also like:

Free E-book Safe to flow

What is the neurobiology of feeling safe, and why is it important for feminine embodiment?

What is the meaning of co-regulation? | Understanding it through the power of sisterhood

What is divine feminine rage?